The only appropriate thing to say to someone who is worse than an A-Hole. (Like a pilot that does a shoddy landing).
Hovering above you.
To approach someone/something while wearing a decorative brooch
Unnatural bravery brought on by the knowledge that any opponent in the airport is free from knives, guns, or other weapons.
When you're lying in the water and on land.
Answers and questions that, like Hansel and Gretel, got lost in the forest because the breadcrumbs of reason were eaten by the birds of consumerism
An appliance wizard.
1. a popular dwelling for box elder bugs
2. a mispronunciation of "ash-tray"
A kanus with the addition of bowel movement tongues.
Doing a podcast, in the nude.
The act of listening to the maskers section of the podcast backwards in order to find hidden messages.
Everything (including ladles)
A vending machine.
Crazy clever badgering like a fox would
The area between the balls and the anus
The era when T.J. had his honeystick stuck in a jug for two months. His pants no longer fit forcing him to wear a barrel.
A turkey facial
Billy Bob Baxter's backstory.
The most alpha of all the melons. Actual existence somewhat dubious but if TJ says that it exists that is good enough for me.
When you're so drunk you think all women are made of glass.
When you begin with guns.
A bonus penis that may or may not have compatibility with select electronic devices.
Synonyms include: Auxiliary penis, aux cock, double dick, and double trouble dick.
Asking a band to come back and do an encore of their biggest hits and make the girls leave
French kissing while vomiting back and forth into each others mouths
A terrible, cesspool of a conversation
When you light a taco like a cigarette and then blow the bean smoke into someone's rude face.
A ball-biting session with a little ball-busting from a transvestite hooker. Generally costs around $300.
How people used to shake hands or bump elbows to introduce themselves back in the days of the plague.
The signature dish of the theme restaurant Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. Boogaloo Stew is "a delicious jambalaya based dish."
As you take it down a notch, you also break it down.
Having a popsicle with one of your bros.
When you stay up too late watching a movie way past your bedtime and it hurts you the next morning.
Simultaneous binging & purging. This involves puking but eating the puke as it comes up.
An obvious lie
The person who assembles your burrito at Chipotle. Essentially a burrito barista.
The place in which a child is burst from it's mother's pussy. Otherwise known as birthplace.
Butterface, except instead the crotch. Ya know, everything butter crotch?
A plain campaign slogan.
Example: "Vote!"
Jerking off with maple syrup
A staff that has been modified so that you can use it as a cane
An establishment where canker sores are available for purchase
Being happy while having a canker sore. Cankin' and thankin' will be Pemberton Buttlestick's campaign slogan for 2014.
Describes the odd-shaped fists of TJ Miller.
Mexican Crocs
Phrases from the show
Cashmere related memories
A really hard churro
Somebody who loves using chip clips so much that they'll clip chips that are basically gone (just chip dust).
A cliffhanger that has really been hammered home.
Leg Shirts a.k.a "Pants"
A cold role model.
A term for when a baseball player emerges onto the field. It can also be used figuratively to mean that a situation is being improved.
Raisins that don't give a fuck, commonly mistaken for cranberries
Crying about winning a prize
Croissant donuts
Defines the time that it takes to paste a heart surgeon.
Hiccups. Also known as cuppies
The signature dish of the theme restaurant City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold. Often ordered as a mountain (or mountanious) of Curly's Gold-Fries.
Really cool.... really really cool.
A derogatory term for someone from Cyprus.
The perfect closing joke to tell an audience of one-year-olds
it means delicious in fish
Something so tasty even the Greecioloucions would've been able to appreciate.
A virgin. One who hasn't had sex since the Dewey administration.
Double digits of niblets.
When a woman pulls down your pants and berates your penis. According to TJ, it's a blowjob that you truly do deserve.
Extremely pleasurable sexual intercourse
Another name for a ups driver
A special squash serve, or when your dinkle comes out and teeter-totters back and forth, but it mostly totters.
Somebody pointing a gun to your crotch under a table.
The condom for the chip
Goggles on, near, or adjacent to a dog or multiples dogs
A warning to stop what one is doing before they are hurt, physically or otherwise.
Scrolling and trolling through the darkness of modern times on the internet.
When a car comes up quickly on you, as a pedestrian crossing on the crosswalk, and you give them the stink eye twice.
The inebriated brother or brother-in-law of someone's parent.
When someone spits in your face, you catch it in your mouth, and you spit it right back
Haven't got enough firework duds. "Hey! Dudme one more!"
Debonair wife
Sexual intercourse deliberately interrupted in order to watch a solar eclipse
Erection
An epidural given by a burly man or Milton Berle
A nicer way of helping someone kill himself.
A euphemism regarding euthanasia
Nostrils
Like facebook but just profile pictures... of Richard Crenna
When someone gives you a gift you don't like (e.g., a moon cactus), but you act like it was an orgasmic experience because you care about the person that gave it to you.
Philosophy of falafels
The time T.J. fell on a dolphin in Hawaii.
A familiar missile sound.
A phrase used to send a message of disapproval to an individual and suggest they refrain from giving you the stink eye. The literal meaning is: to use an air freshener product to mask or eliminate the odor emitting from a smelly eye.
As its name suggests, used when asking someone to feel something soft
A therapist that you go to when your ferret is pissed.
1. Sneaking into someone's house while they're sleeping, giving them liposuction, and stealing the fat.
2. Having sexual intercourse with a more heavyset person
An annual used car event and temporary community based on radical indecisiveness about whether or not to attend Burning Man
Masturbating by flapping ones penis in the wind, created by Flapjack Bainbridge.
Like a bird flapping it's wings, and just kinda, you know...
Fudging the numbers
When you both flip and turn over a table.
One of those shits that you'll always remember
A thin strip of facial hair located an inch above the eyebrows that resembles a monobrow
When a podcaster French kisses and licks the microphone and passes it around, like at a potluck.
Frozen fish roe, little tiny fish eggs, frozen up like froyo.
Taking a bunch of drugs at the same time.
Originally known as "Full body intake," which referred to doing the following all at once: picking your nose, snorting cocaine, drinking alcohol, injecting heroin, and taking Special A through the pookie hatch.
The excretion of every fluid from one's body at once. A true full body release includes all of the following: urinating, defecating, vomiting, sweating from every pore, snot running from the nose, crying (or squirting milk if done while cumming to climax) from all 4 tear ducts, drooling, foaming at the mouth, and bleeding from the ears.
A sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a sex partner by the use of fingers that are covered in superglue
The fusion of nougat in the mouths of two french kissing people.
Male version of "Whisker Tits" - usually used in a derogatory sense. Also a potential affliction a male may suffer after hate-fucking a trash can.
Goosing someone with both hands
Coming to climax whilst on the receiving end of an H.J.
Achieving an erection
Fondling a microphone
A really big glass house, at least 200 hundred years old, which has a moat and a dragon. Glastles can be a hassle to clean.
When something great came a little too late.
A great guy and a great owner
A Florida-based travelling novelty basketball team.
A glass office. Those who work in a gloffice shouldn't throw glass staplers.
When something's absolutely perfect, but it's also glur (admittedly not a great phrase).
A very funny word according to Cash Levy's son as discussed on "Baseball Podcast for Babies."
Going super crazy on someone in a donnybrook situation (crazy enough to strip off all your clothes and fight nude)
When your STD has upgraded from playing big theaters to playing arenas
A ballerina with gonorrhea
A racist against grapes. Totally unacceptable.
If you're a regular Gregory, or a Gregory regular, you're a Gregular.
When you don't know what day of the week it is any more (a quarantine affliction).
What airline pilots call burritos
Chasing after a gust of wind, or just a guy named Gus the Guster if you can't find one.
A musical studio to record hair band covers
Bird of prey covered in ham
A hand job procured from Miss Piggy or other various swine.
Fishing while having your jeans rolled up and bare feet off the edge of a pier, preferably on a first date.
Short hair (should be short enough that it sticks up straight on its own)
High treason where you've over seasoned the cod.
1. A gang of twelve men
2. A hug that is so soft that it doesn't feel like they're really gripping you at all
When you have you're cake, but you can't eat it..
Penis
Poking the witness with your honey stick. Never happened without being held in contempt of court.
A mini honey stick
A highly contagious bacterial disease that causes uncontrollable, violent coughing only while playing basketball
1. Not a hot pod.
2. Something that came out the pookie hatch.
3. A fondookie.
A particularly great episode of a podcast (sometimes additionally described as tasty, spicy, or buttery)
A more relevant version of "how are you holding up?" when we're all holing up in our homes.
When you disagree but also don't have any heroin.
A day where you just eat ice cream for every meal.
A phrase used in order to illustrate the importance of moving on in order to keep a party or gathering going.
An immortal prick that, instead of killing themselves when they become elderly, continues living solely to beat the world record for oldest human alive
A state of joyful drunkenness (see Sp'toinkered or Sp'toinkerville)
A euphemism for being high off of marijuana drugs. Originally coined by Doug Benson
When you're intuitive about only one thing.
When different wines want to know exactly who's drinking them.
To get involved in ones vulva.
i.e. I often times confide things within her, we've actually become quite invulvaed.
when you sneeze in italics
A juicy, Jewish brewskie. A beer labeled with the brown star of David.
When you get skittish of a Jewskie.
Two puckering anuses kissing. Considered to be the most beautiful union between a man and a woman.
When a woman will knead your groin like dough resulting in pizza dick & occasionally pepperoni cock. Not to be confused with being kneed in the groin.
Giving a witness little tiny licks on their face and then give them a little eucalyptus. A common practice of lawyers who have Koala's in their office.
A military strategy wherein you shoot a lamb at the opposing faction.
A tear that emanates from one eye, rolls down and around the chin and then goes into the other eye
Livestock that is covered in lava
Expression used when one believes a natural process is being unnecessarily usurped by a man-made device.
Smaller lights, a la ducklings
When you ground a lightning round so you don't get electrocuted from the brilliance of a triple banger.
A pejorative term for any service industry professional that is wearing a wrist guard on the job
An ice-skating routine in which you chew tobacco while people scare you. If scared to the point of swallowing the tobacco you are to do a full body release.
The feeling that one's penis has more liquid in it than the tomato it was pulled out of
Ask the masters. HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MASKS.
When you knead someones shoulders while you tell them they should be making 75 cents for your every dollar.
Penis
Long john pajamas which only cover a medium amount of the body.
The inability to distinguish between the words mystique and mesquite.
Example: Mesquerious barbeques that you think are mysterious could just be mesquite.
A complimentary nickname
When you didn't have a really good cut of beef that night.
A memoir about one's mother.
Mustard which is made from moose semen.
Someone who shows the you the future in Spanish.
When you're doing a podcast and riding a bicycle with female wheels (unless they are married).
When someone has been talking a lot of shit about someone else
Being not nasty as you should, or can be, but just being the nasty you want to be.
A woman that is able to use her unusually long outie belly-button as an umbilical dildo
Just dipping your toes into the news without watching or reading all of it.
The act of squirting milk out of an eye. A useful skill to have for lawyering, bartending, impressing dates at carnivals, and feeding babies.
Someone who doesn't like potstickers.
The act of putting a garden hose in the mouth of a significant other for pleasure.
racism against numbers, as coined by TJ. Those practicing numericism are also known as dicklickers.
Sex that's just OK, not great. You may like it but definitely won't tlove it.
When you try and masturbate surreptitiously.
A box set of Bach classical music that's already been opened, and you're open to listening to it.
When you get of your car and run around wondering why you're paying so much for something that is usually less expensive and just as good.
When you accidentally get pregnant on a paddle boat.
People with pancakes for hands
Parasailing with a parrot on your shoulder
An act of group sex involving three people where one participant is fake sleeping
An individual that may frequent gambling establishments while simultaneously masturbating and commandeering a moving vehicle. Also known as Gamblebator.
When you can make your pee rise. Or leak upwards.
It calls for an Ice Cold Budwiser.
Funeral for a penis
Condom
A penny-farthing pedicab.
A parrot sealed in a barrel
Slang for perpendicular
Getting crabs from a girl who convinces you to have sex with her for a very petty reason
A confident pirate in hiding
When you are pissed off at your kids.
when you give yourself a hand job wearing pleated slacks
when you give yourself a hand job wearing parachute pants
A podcast with Cash.
A derogatory term for a contemporary poet
Little fights in politics
Anus
("pooky" pronounced like "cookie")
1) A cookie pie.
2) A pedophiles morning walk.
1. Angry versions of Cash's friends in Kool-Aid popsicle form
2. Jews
3. Otter Pops
The formal name for a Botfly that has smoked marijuana
Cash's personal line of lotion for plastic surgery "enhancements". The entire reason why Cash started the podcast in the first place was to move this product.
When parents print their children's lemonade stand sign for them, thus hurting said children's chances of having a successful lemonade business. Signage should be handmade with crayon or black marker. It should include a backwards E at the end, or also acceptable would be a backward L.
When somebody purports to be Mike Pence.
TJ's orgasm phrase
to be an a**hole
When you question your own digestion.
A retreat where one spends time away from normal life for the purpose of connecting with Quakers and/or Quakerism.
People who don't care about their jobs
People who eat mayonnaise straight.
An expression used to signify that a statement was truthful or honest and that it should be accepted
When you restore the historical questions. History questions are timeless, they never go out of style.
Masturbation
Not to be done with pizza cutters or else you'll end up with enough nicks down there for a New York sports team! Officer Dan!
When someone gives you an unwanted gift of gab, but you give it back with a gab gift receipt.
When you explore outside of a cave.
A run during which one must rhyme the whole time
"Bro" said three times in a row
Wet suit. Also known as a rubjumper, rubber jumper, or rubberized jumper.
Urinating at an underground waterfall (...somewhere in TN...)
A bigot who's rude about vegetables.
A reference to an unintentional Sean Connery quote (due to an editing mishap), "Rule Number One: how do I know you're not a cop?"
When you have a full bicycle ride and you're sad the whole time.
Monday, Wednesday, and some of a Saturday
One hundred sand dollars
Sex acne you get from fucking a saxophone.
Scaring somebody with a gift.
Cutting a piece of paper for an informational (aka flyer) so a person can pull off a single phone number without ripping the whole thing off a telephone pole
When you bend yourself in half and fart in your own face.
A brush.
A shank specifically made to stab ankles.
A shelter-cellar
A turkey basted by Aunt Margarethan. No one eats this turkey
Usually done to a Quaker.
When a Shetland pony shits.
A society where everyone's stabbing eachother with sharpened toothbrushes.
A one trick pony. Useless.
Also referred to as a one stick chime.
Getting really old!
Derived from the Age Pickup-Graph, stating the pickup-ratio while aging:
0 - 15 years old: you will pick up any change
15 - 40: you will pick up any dime, but will ignore pennies
40 - 75: you will not pick up any single quarters, but will pick up 2 quarters depending on how far one is from the other
< 90: you will always pick up silver dollars or dollar bills
> 115: you won't even bother to pick up a hundred dollar bill
Gotten rich to an extent where you don't even bother to pick up a dropped quarter.
According to the AgePickup-Scale people past their 40s are falling into this category.
A rare sleeping disorder that Cash suffers from where one makes charts while sleeping, possibly of weight gains or losses.
Cooking eggs in a certain way.
When you snap at somebody after jacking them off, or saying mean things to said person.
A passive threesome where the fake sleeping participant sneaks in and involves themselves in the sexual activity without the other two members noticing. It may also be referred to as a Sleep-insome.
(Pronounced like 'heard') When you smell something a nerd heard.
Sex with a snow person. One warms up their penis, elongates the penis and then penetrates a snow person, creating a snow vagina thus giving birth to a snow-woman.
A conversation that leads to some real realizations.
Really drunk, three sheets to the wind.
Living in a state of extreme drunkenness
Space icecream that fixes everything!
Also referred to as the "Duct tape of the universe"
Jackin' your honeystick in space.
Horse sterilizer; makes your dick go back up into your own body.
Periodic huge logs of shit you have to drive over on your neighborhood street.
A racist-sounding slur for a new mother
A whiffleball pitch that involves sticking two of your fingers through the ball's holes and flicking the ball into a spin as you throw it.
An anus inside an anus; also known as anus squared. TJ Miller was forced to have a squanus by Nancy Grace after being beaten mercilessly with her gravel-filled glucose tits.
A ladle that measures 6x6 in any unit of measurement.
A disease which develops a stain on your taint.
Trampled by a stampede
Canker sore with gangrene, also known as a Stanker Canker.
Members of the Steven Seagal fan club.
When a man ejaculates (spontaneously or not) into his own pants
Cul-de-sac
Nipples in the shape of one big stripe. Waldo is known to have strippy nips.
Sex through sucking
A band. Nope. A choir.
Defecating on the anxieties that people have about technology
The working title for a show intended to be hosted exclusively by T.J. Miller. The full working title was to be: Talkin' Lots with T.G. Who-did-it
When your tonsil is covered in tar and its got little peacock feathers on it. Often hiding dildos within.
French kissing (because we don't like the French that much)
The perfect phrase to yell out before you leave a party in order to make a lasting impression. Most commonly said in a high whispered tone.
Using the word cunt in an insulting manner.
The opposite of The Seven Levels of Nevilles, a glorious and wonderful place.
Making some reference to Hitler or the Nazi party during the course of a dispute. Shouldn't be done too early or it loses it true effect and makes you look bad.
What the body don't do, the dick do. That's the way it's gotta be, because when it goes down easy, it comes out hard.
When you do the 3-point-line-puke and hit nothing but bowl. No rim, no seat.
An unholy place to be, akin to an IKEA filled with men named Neville. Originally there were only three levels.
An expression used to illustrate that something does not exist in nature, derived from the fact that naturally, roosters do not ejaculate on hens' faces.
The process of ruining one's life by way of purchasing inordinate amounts of Red Bull
The performance of snapping one's fingers three times, punctuated by slapping one's own butt. Done to highlight the truthfulness or importance of an event or point.
When there are three or more Levy's sitting on a lap in one seat.
A complicated and time consuming series of actions required for an individual to induce orgasm in their female sex partner
A teller that tends to the till.
When T.J. loves it.
A list of things to do in a French toilet.
When someone kicks you in the dick and their toe gets stuck in the peehole.
Very drunk.
A glove you wear on your tongue if you don't want to taste what you're eating; also called a lick mitten,
the old tongue coater, or a tandem tongue and condom.
Western version of the burqa.
A disease where you have indestructible testicles.
A well preserved corpse, formerly married to Prudence and roommate of TJ Miller. She is well known for her cheery atmosphere.
When you eat food or your own feelings while atop a treadmill.
Succession of three questions (Triple Banger), in a rapid fire sequence (Lightning Round). Often followed by an additional banger, known as the Triple Banger Auxiliary Round.
Children conceived in a hot tub. Also known as tub-rubbers
A unicorn made of tuna, or a tuna fish with a unicorn horn that's just a magical fish of the sea.
Really soft, supple Tupperware.
How quickly you can u-turn a phrase (it's all in the wrist).
The Hitler card on twitter. Appropriate to use only after 15 @replies.
When you take a phrase and turn it right back around.
When T.J. builds an escalator in a lazy river that takes him to the tippity tops.
The student with the highest academic ranking in vowels from a graduating class
A wall-eyed owl.
Another name for synchronized swimming.
Inner tube
Pamphlet made of weed
The small flap of skin on your elbow.
Cat food, the wet wet stuff.
Condoms with sand paper on the inside and whale skin on the outside.
A company that delivers food that's been run over by cars for incredibly inexpensive prices.
When two owl comedians whip their heads back at the same time while telling a joke and hit each other. From the Hoot Hooting with Owl podcast, produced by Donkey.
Masturbation. It's a sin to do this in a confession box.
After sustaining an injury to the wrist from operating a whisk, a whisk guard may be worn as a protective device that makes it impossible to hold or use a whisk.
Tits with wispy animalistic comfort
The female version of whiskey dick; being so drunk that one's vagina closes
The male "member." (The gold standard of *whistle*)
TJ's white satin pants
Yells and screams uttered into the wind
A bird that has one or more wings but is flightless.
Also see: Flight tease.
A combative situation where one or more participants seems like a wombat
Preferred ways of referring to the process of ejaculation.
Other possibilities: little death, hot (tasty) shot, love-explosion and mangravy
It's a way to yodel about ladling. It's what you scream or sing in exclamation when you've made a ladle out of something. It originally started when a small handle was put on an alphorn (the long horn from the Ricola ads.) It is pronounced yodel-laddle-hee-hoo and is also known as Ladodeling or Yadeling.
To use moisturizer backwards. Also possibly the lotion that brings Yoda to climax.
Getting so drunk you are living as a dead person. People have seen the city lights, but no one has ever been there.
A second tier escalation of anger. On occasion could be substituted with the phrase "You would be doing us all a favor if you hanged yourself." This however, could be construed as a fifth tier escalation.
When you start seeing 5 to 16 of everything with a background from Zooming too much (a quarantine injury).
Having an overly long beard